


But I Don't Wanna Tour My House!

by illyrianshadowsinger



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Dead May Parker (Spider-Man), Explicit Language, Gen, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), Meme Lord Shuri (Marvel), Multi, Peter Parker Lives At Stark Tower, Peter Parker's Field Trip to Stark Industries, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Avengers, Some Queer Shit, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, because we deserve it, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:40:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23724733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/illyrianshadowsinger/pseuds/illyrianshadowsinger
Summary: Peter’s class earned a field trip to Stark Industries. Featuring things like: swearing, hella memes, protective Avengers, Irondad & Spiderson, genderfluid Loki (y’all can fight me on this one, I’ll throw hands), many gay things, genius Peter, and moreOrI’m basic and wrote a field trip fic. I have no idea what a timeline is and have selected whatever I like from canon. Please don’t look for MCU logic, you won’t find it here. I'm just here to feed my own addiction for this trope and keep y'alls entertained during this lovely quarantine.
Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Avengers Team, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 31
Kudos: 326





	1. Peter's Predicament

**Author's Note:**

> Hey peeps, this is my first ever posted fic! I have read just about every fic in this trope and decided I needed to contribute for some reason. I don’t own anything here except a shitty sense of humor and some mediocre writing skills so here we go.  
> ps I don’t have a beta reader so any grammar mistakes are mine (I’m sure there are plenty). If you let me know I’ll fix any you find. I am the opposite of opposed if anyone wants to beta this story <3

It’s been about a month since Peter’s engineering class received their permission slips for this year’s “practical application” field trip. For the past several years, Midtown has put on a school-wide competition as an incentive for good grades. Good grades lead to good test scores lead to more funding, yadda, yadda, yadda. At the end of the competition, the class section with the highest collective grades and highest participation in a few Fun Team-building Activities ™ would get to go on an exclusive field trip to a place where they could potentially get a job applying the skills they developed in their class.

Peter’s classmates had pulled themselves together very effectively. Even Flash cooperated with everyone, much to everyone’s surprise! In the end, Peter’s engineering class came out on top and was rewarded with the coveted field trip. Which is great. Except that Peter’s life is going to end because the field trip is to his home. They’re going to Stark Tower in three days.

Sitting in his last class of the day, Peter was as anxious as ever. He couldn’t stop stressing about this stupid trip. He knew that his newly dubbed extended family would take their opportunity to embarrass the absolute shit out of him, and the thought had been giving him a major headache for the last few days. What if they accidentally reveal that I live at the tower? What if people find out I’m Spider-Man? What if Nat kills Flash for saying some stupid shit? All of those things could happen!

He had begged and pleaded for hours to the Avengers and other residents of the tower to leave his class alone when they were having their tour. It was a lost cause. Tony couldn’t wipe the shit eating grin off his face if he tried, Clint looked like a kid in a fucking candy store, and even Mr. Good and Righteous Captain America Sir seemed to be formulating a plan of attack in his head. At least Wanda had appeared sympathetic to Peter’s awful predicament, but she was one of the only few he would trust to not make his life a living hell for That Day ™. He supposed there were maybe a couple others who weren’t likely to rock the boat on Friday, like Bruce and Vision and maybe Uncle Rhodey, but for the most part he knew he was in for it. And on top of all that! Thor and his sibling had been staying at the tower for the past few weeks AND Shuri and T’challa were arriving this evening for some negotiations regarding vibranium shipments. Normally both of those things would make him ecstatic (who was he kidding, he was still excited to see his long-distance friends) but now it just meant more people to embarrass him in front of his class! 

Peter was pulled from his nervous thoughts by a pencil being dug into his back courtesy of Ned. “Dude, pay attention!” he whisper yelled. The wound up teen huffed out a small sigh and refocused on what his teacher was saying. The end of class couldn’t come soon enough. He was itching to get back home and hang out with Shuri once she arrived.

The bell went off fifteen minutes later and Peter was out of his seat like a rocket, racing out the door with a rushed “see ya tomorrow” directed at Ned. Happy doesn’t like to wait long for him to get out of school and Peter always does his best to keep the man from being unhappy. Happy also doesn’t care for puns about his nickname, so Peter usually keeps those to himself. Usually.

“Hi Happy!” Peter greeted, not even slightly out of breath from his jog to the sleek black car that was parked two blocks from the school.  
“Hey kid, how was school?” Came the reply from his honorary uncle figure. That was all the invitation Peter needed to launch into an uncannily detailed description of his day (sans Flash’s bullying). Happy always looked like he was tuning out his daily recap, but Peter knew that he was actually paying close attention to check up on him. The older man cared, he just didn’t like to show it. ‘Which is fine,’ thought Peter, ‘I can get my hugs from plenty of other people at the tower.’

The drive to the tower took about half an hour because traffic, and once they arrived, Peter was already feeling more relaxed than he had at school. Partly because it was nice to recap and process his school day with Happy and partly because he was back in his element. At the tower he doesn't have to worry about watching his words to keep his superhero identity and home life a secret, and he doesn't have to worry about bullies like Flash. Here, he’s just the smart, goofy intern who pops in to help exhausted college interns with their projects and walk them off the metaphorical ledge. Here, he’s the superhero who trains with Black Widow and Captain America. Here, he’s just a kid who speaks in meme references and has a handful of mental health issues and struggles sometimes, and that’s okay because his ragtag family is here to pick him up when he falls. Or when he blows stuff up. That happens far more than it probably should. Oops.

Happy and Peter parted ways upon entering the building, Happy to go do important Head of Security things, and Peter to go eat some pop tarts or something. FRIDAY scanned his biometrics at the security checkpoint instead of requiring a badge, and Peter said hi to every worker he passed. He always found it important to acknowledge and thank everyone for doing their jobs at the tower. After all, if there weren’t people here to ensure everyone’s safety and keep everything organized and running smoothly, Peter wouldn’t be able to do half the stuff he does in the upper labs. Plus, sometimes something as small as a smile and a short conversation can make someone’s day! It’s easy to do and fun to make people happy so he always makes a point to say hi. There’s one janitor in particular who is usually in the ground floor lobby when Peter gets back from school, who’s name is Paul. The man was having a rough time with a divorce, but he seemed to be in a good mood today, which Peter was glad to hear. 

After catching up with Paul and a few others, Peter hopped in the private elevator and headed up to the common floor.


	2. Meet The Fam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's see a little bit of what Peter's life is like at the tower!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Just wanted to give y'all some background for this fic. I love May, but for the relationship dynamics I wanted to have in this fic I've killed her off. I was struggling to find a way to work it naturally into the story so I gave up. Here's what you need to know:  
> -May died  
> -Tony and Pepper adopted Peter but it hasn't been made public  
> -Peter calls them mom and dad because Jesus Christ the kid needs some kind of familial stability in his life  
> -Peter is still grieving but he is doing his absolute best to live life to the fullest because that's what May would have wanted (I'm trying to keep the angst to a minimum, but I make no guarantees)

The elevator doors dinged open and Peter stepped out into the huge living room on the common floor for the Avengers and tower residents. Almost immediately, his spidey sense told him to duck. Sure enough, a Wii remote flew into the (now closed) elevator doors where Peter had just been standing.

“Clint I swear to God! I may be a multi-billionaire but you will run me out of house and home if you don’t reign it in with the damn video games! I’m not buying you any more replacement controllers,” came a shout from the breakfast nook in the kitchen. “Also don’t kill my kid.”

Peter playfully rolled his eyes as he set his backpack down on one of the couches and listened to Clint trying to explain that Bucky was somehow cheating at Wii Sports wakeboarding and how it wasn’t fair. “Good to know your concern for my well-being comes second to the welfare of the Wii remote,” Peter mumbled sarcastically.

“I heard that, smartass!” called Tony.

“I know,” Peter said cheekily as he made his way over to the kitchen to find a snack. “Hey do we have any more pop tarts or did Thor eat them all already?”

“Nah there should be some left for you. I hid some in the upper far left cabinet way in back.” Tony went back to whatever he was doing on his Starkpad. “I also put in another industrial sized order this morning for you heathens.”

“Sweet, thanks dad!” Peter wasted no time in hopping up onto the counter and digging around in the cupboard. “Aha!” He grabbed hold of the box and fished out two of the silvery packets for himself. He was too preoccupied to notice the genuine smile Tony couldn’t hide after being called dad.

Climbing off the counter (damn it sucks being short), Peter wandered back over to the living room section of the open-concept common floor as he started munching on his newly acquired snack. He absolutely loved this area because it was essentially a large crater in the floor that was lined with couches, extremely soft carpet, and a big flat screen TV that made for great movie nights. He’d heard the design referred to as a ‘conversation pit,’ but Peter called it ‘fort potential.’ It was only about three steps lower than the rest of the floor, so when they draped it with sheets, it became nice and cozy.

The current occupants of the living room were Clint and Bucky (who were still battling it out, but had switched to Wii Sports archery because Clint was a sore loser), Loki (sitting and reading, trying and failing to seem like they wanted to be alone), and Nat (who was sprawled out on the plush carpet but still looking poised somehow???).

Peter opted to go sit with Loki. Some of the Avengers were still a little tense and awkward around the god, but Peter got along extremely well with them. The team found out that they were mind controlled just like Clint when they tried to take over New York, and since then everyone had been trying to get over past grievances to make the mischievous god feel welcome. For the most part, Loki kept to themself, but no one on any planet was immune to Peter’s infectious energy and puppy dog eyes, so the two had struck up quite the friendship.

“What’s poppin’?” Peter said as he plopped himself down right next to the god. Loki would never ask for it, but they craved the physical affection and Peter was happy to give it. Which is why Loki didn’t look the slightest bit surprised to practically have a lapful of Peter as soon as the boy entered the room. 

“Nothing much, homeslice,” The god responded with a small smirk. The team as a whole were shocked (and kind of disturbed) when Loki took such a liking to Gen Z and pop culture that Peter insisted on introducing to them. At this point, Loki used slang just to see the looks on everyone’s faces. That, and it made Peter smile. 

“That’s never gonna not be weird,” said Clint as he aimed his controller to shoot a virtual arrow. “You meet the guy and he sounds like he came straight out of a Shakespeare play, and now he says shit like ‘homeslice’ and ‘Gucci’ along with the Shakespearian. It’s too much for my head to handle.”

Peter shot a concerned and curious glance at his friend at the pronouns Clint used, but Loki shook his head and made the ASL sign for ‘M’, which was the simple and unobtrusive system he’d developed to convey which gender he was feeling at any moment. It worked well since all the Avengers knew ASL, courtesy of one Clint Barton. Satisfied that his friend was being properly respected (the god usually altered his appearance as an indicator, but it was better to check), Peter nodded and settled in to heckle the archer. 

“You’re just upset that you’re too old to understand anything when the cool kids are speaking,” Peter teased.

“Yeah Pete, because you’re the epitome of a cool kid,” Bucky chimed in playfully.

“Hey! First of all, we didn’t ask you Mr. ‘Oh, Is This One Of Those Mee-Mees?’ Secondly, I’m so cool!” Peter insisted. “Not only am I Spider-Man, but I can fit like 12 jumbo marshmallows in my mouth before I choke! That’s cool.”

Loki lightly smacked the boy’s arm, looking disgusted and muttering an “ew.” From a few feet away, Natasha gave a small laugh. “I like that the marshmallows are cooler to you than being an actual superhero, ребенок паук.” Peter only shrugged.

This light chatter went on for about half an hour before Peter decided he needed to get his homework done if he wanted time to patrol later. Sitting up from his previous position lounged across the couch with his head in Loki’s lap, Peter went to grab his backpack and head to his own room a few floors up. 

He got so wrapped up in his homework that he managed to forget that Shuri would be arriving at the tower soon with her brother and some representatives from Wakanda. Peter was totally unprepared for the royal teen to come barging into his room yelling “What the FUCK is up, Kyle?!!”  
Apparently his spidey sense didn't apply to her, because Peter ended up jumping so high he landed on the ceiling. 

“Jesus Christ, Shuri!” he said, still perched on the ceiling. He was startled but a smile lit up his whole face.

“HAHahahaha! What’s good, white boy?” Shuri laughed and jumped onto his bed, making herself at home.

“Well I was working on my physics homework,” he explained as he let go and landed on the floor with a light thud. “But now I’m gonna give my friend the biggest fucking hug ever!” That was all the warning Shuri got before Peter gave a war cry and tackled her in a huge bear hug. Luckily, the kid knew his own strength and didn’t strangle her, but she did feel the need to tap out to get a good breath in.

As per usual, no normal human would be able to keep track of the conversation they struck up after getting settled. Both of their brains worked so fast that half the time, they only said half phrases before the other person understood and continued with a new thought. Every person who had ever been in a room with the two of them found it scary.

After catching up for a bit and updating each other on their latest projects, Shuri dragged Peter by the arm to his personal lab to go fuck shit up (all in the name of science, of course). Unfortunately, there wasn’t even enough time for anything to accidentally explode before FRIDAY interrupted their teen genius session.

“Boss would like me to inform you that dinner will be ready in five minutes, and that ‘so help me god, if the two of you are late again because of some explosion I will sic Nat AND Pepper on you.’ You have been warned.”

“Oof,” said Shuri. “I’d almost forgotten about the Star Wars incident.”

“Yeah, maybe, like, don’t bring that up at dinner?” Peter cringed. The Star Wars Incident™ included several failed attempts at creating lightsabers. There may have possibly been a few dozen explosions and some second degree burns (which Peter healed quickly, but still.) He didn’t need Tony putting any more safety protocols on his lab. It was really cramping his style.

The teens made their way to the common floor to get food. Theoretically, the whole team would be at dinner. Realistically, at least a few people would forget or be too preoccupied (i.e. Bruce or Pepper). However, when Peter and Shuri stepped off the elevator and walked into the dining room area of the common floor, just about everyone was already in attendance. 

Steve, Sam, and Rhodey were maneuvering exorbitant amounts of food from the kitchen onto the long dining table, Bucky was standing over Thor’s shoulder and trying (futily) to help figure something out on a Starkpad, and Natasha was patiently listening to Bruce as he tried to explain what he had been working on in his lab before dinner. Loki was trying to ignore everyone even though Clint and Tony were actively trying to get him to participate in their conversation about the pros and cons of reality tv shows, and the remaining people at the table were having an actual adult conversation about world economics or something, probably.   
In actuality, Pepper, Wanda, T’challa, and Vision were discussing whether or not it would be beneficial to hide the supply of energy drinks now that the Dynamic Disaster Duo™ (aka Peter and Shuri) were back together again.

“So Peter,” Nat said from across the table once everyone had their food. “Excited for Friday?” The traitorous assassin looked perfectly innocent, but the glare she was met with was enough to crack her and reveal a smug smile.

Peter’s field trip didn’t manage to stay a secret for long since he lived with several spies and was also a bad liar. Only the treat of decaf coffee kept Tony from framing the picture of Peter’s face when he was first confronted about the trip a few weeks ago.

“Please can everyone just be normal human beings and leave my class alone while we’re here?” Peter tried pleading for the hundredth time since his family found out.

“Nope!” Clint assured with a smile. “We most certainly can not! That would imply that anyone at this table is normal, which, frankly, is insulting.”

Peter narrowly avoided face planting into his spaghetti as he let his head fall to the table with a loud clunk. “My life’s gonna end,” he lamented. “Here lies Peter Parker. Cause of death: embarrassment and self-inflicted blunt force trauma to the head.”

Shuri, also sitting across from him, tried to console him. “I could always take you out before any of this happens,” she said while giving him finger guns. “I’ll even let you choose how!” At this, some of the adults looked majorly concerned.

“As fun as it is to listen to you guys plan my kid’s death, let’s be real.” Tony said. “Nothing bad is going to happen, Peter. In fact, I’m sure your friends will be super impressed and love you for being the reason they get to meet the avengers.”

“Except that I don’t want the attention and nobody really believes I intern here anyway” Peter mumbled into the table. Some of his family were confused by the latter statement.

“People at school don’t believe you?” Wanda asked, slight concern in her voice.

Peter finally looked up from the table. “Well no. I mean, it is kinda hard to believe that some random scholarship kid actually has an internship with The Tony Stark. Especially when SI doesn’t even take high school interns and I’m nothing special. None of my teachers really believe it either.” Peter said dejectedly with a small shrug. As if it didn’t matter that much. As if his remark didn’t break the hearts of every single person at the table.

“Peter, honey, why didn’t you tell us this earlier?” Pepper asked her adoptive son. “We could have sent over more paperwork or had a talk with your principal or something.” She hated seeing her child behave as if his own well being didn’t matter. She wanted to be able to help.

“Mom it’s fine,” Peter assured her. “I don’t really care if they believe me or not. It doesn’t matter.”

“Pepper I want you to know that if anyone on Peter’s trip gives him any crap, I will personally punch a bitch,” said Shuri.

“No!” Peter exclaimed. “That’s just it! No one will be punching bitches and no one will be acting like they know me. I just need to get through this stupid tour without anybody losing any goddamn limbs or finding out that I live here.”

“It’s bold of you to assume you can stop these fists,” the other teen asserted.

“Shuri I’m literally a superhero.”

“Maybe so. But do you have the power of God AND anime on your side?

“........”

“That’s what I thought. Watch yourself, Parker.”

Peter huffed out a defeated sigh. “I’m gonna lose my shit.”

“Hey! Let’s cool it with the language. Stevie doesn’t like it,” Bucky called.

Steve put his head in his hands. “Fucking hell, you say something one time around you people.” And with that, the conversation regarding Peter’s impending field trip was dropped. It wasn’t forgotten, however. There were now several powerful people mentally altering their plans for a certain tour group. No one would believe their favorite kid was a liar after this tour. They’d make sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The field trip begins next chapter XD   
> There should be a steady increase in meme references from this point on (btw if you have certain references you want to see, drop a comment and they'll likely make an appearance!)
> 
> Thank you all for reading and for all the kudos and comments! You are all wonderful humans!!  
> And the biggest thank you ever to my best friend, smallfriendlybee, for beta-ing for me !! :) Love you <3
> 
> I'm sending the grooviest of vibes to all of you! You can't even stop me!  
> -Illyrianshadowsinger


	3. The Day Has Come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning of the dreaded field trip!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! Sorry for the FAT FUCKING DELAY!! This chapter ended up getting really mcfricken long, so I split it in two and I'll post the second part very soon

The last two days leading up to Peter’s dreaded trip were relatively uneventful. Peter spent them with enough anxiety to power the entirety of NYC, but it’s fine. Whatever. The only thing that really happened was Clint managing to break his arm during a spontaneous mission call, but that wasn’t anything that shook the universe. The man did have an EXTENSIVE track record of injuries, even for a spy. Friday morning came way too soon.

Peter woke up to FRIDAY blaring Metallica through her speakers, which meant he was already running late. He had at least six different alarms that went off before FRIDAY resorted to playing a song of Tony’s choosing at the volume of Tony’s choosing in a last ditch attempt to get him out of bed. But at least he was up. Visibly shaken and in a defensive fighting stance, but up nonetheless. 

“Ugggghhhh, thanks FRI you can stop that now,” Peter instructed groggily once he found his bearings. He sat back down on his bed and went searching for his phone. ‘Aw shit,’ he thought. ‘It’s already 6:30.’ He only had about 20 minutes before he had to get down to the private parking garage to get a ride from Happy. Peter knew he needed to get up and start getting ready (lord knew he needed a shower after last night’s patrol) but he couldn’t bring himself to move. Today was the day. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. His anxiety was being a bitch and he was getting stuck in his head again. Oh god he felt like he was going to throw up. This day was going to go horribly and there wasn’t anything he could do to stop it. Goddamn it, why did this always have to happen? Why couldn’t he just take control of his own thoughts and be better and not freak out over everything all the time?

At this point Peter was rocking back and forth slightly as he sat on the bed with his muscles tensed tight, and his chest rising and falling quickly with too shallow breaths. This was not a new experience to the superpowered teen, but he always struggled to refocus and calm down no matter how many times it had happened. Luckily for him, someone was always there to help.

“Hey Pete, you gotta ge--” Tony stopped himself as he walked into his son’s room and saw him rocking on the bed. The man went over and sat down next to his distressed kid. “Hey, come here,” he said as he opened his arms in invitation. Peter leaned stiffly into the hug and hid his face in his dad’s shoulder. Tony brought his hand up to play with Peter's curls to calm him down.

“Is it nerves?” he asked. Peter only nodded.

“Look, I know the team has been joking around about the tour, and I can’t stop them from having their fun ‘cause that would be like herding cats, but nothing bad is gonna happen today.”

From his spot curled up against Tony’s chest, Peter tried insisting otherwise. “But bad things will happen! Because despite being made up of super spies and assassins, the team has all the subtlety of an elephant on crack, and my class is gonna find out that I live here and that I’m Spider-man, and then they’ll all look at me differently and act weird, and then the whole world will find out and I’ll have to deal with the press, and everyone’s gonna know, and--”

“I’m gonna stop you right there kid,” Tony interrupted. “Do you really think I’d let that happen?”

“But you just said you can’t control what the team does! Not to mention whatever you’ll do on your own.” Peter said solemnly. 

“Hey now, look at me,” Tony said. Peter pulled away, staring at his feet.

“For real kid, come on.” After a moment's hesitation, Peter lifted his chin to meet his dad’s gaze.

“I promise that nothing like that will happen,” The man assured. “I actually did talk with the rest of the team and told them to be smart and to make sure that you and your identity stay safe. I’m not gonna let anyone put my kid at risk just so they can embarrass him on his school trip. Plus,” he added, “FRIDAY will be watching the whole time, and she’ll alert me if I need to come intervene at any point.” 

Peter seemed to be coming around to the idea, and he gave the older man a small, relieved smile. “You really did that?” He asked.

“Of course I did!” Tony said with a smile as he ruffled Peter’s hair. “Oh ye of little faith!”

“I’m sorry dad,” Peter looked down at his hands to avoid his father’s gaze. “I do trust you, it’s just that I got so caught up in thinking about it and I’m just so nervous!” His shoulders slumped forward in shame. “This is so stupid. I fight crime, I shouldn’t be so worked up about a fucking field trip!”

“Uh uh, nope. None of that.” Tony pulled Peter back into a hug. “I know you trust me and I know you didn’t mean it like that. I also need you to understand that fighting bad guys is in a whole different ballpark than fighting your own thoughts. That knowledge comes first hand, buddy. Hell, I’d much rather have a go at Ultron again than have a panic attack, but we don’t really get the choice, huh?”

“I guess,” Peter said. “So you don’t think I’m weak for freaking out about this?” He needed to know, just to be sure.

“Not even in the slightest, Pete. I’d be one hell of a fucking hypocrite if I did.” 

Peter smiled at that and untangled himself from his dad’s arms so that he could stretch. He was still a little shaken, but his muscles were starting to relax and his heart rate no longer felt like it was trying to win a race against a bullet train.

Tony moved to get off the bed. “Think you’re ready to take on the day now?” He asked.

“Yeah,” Peter said with a sheepish but grateful smile.

“Good, cause you’ve only got 15 minutes to get ready” Tony chuckled at the face his kid made.

“SHIT!”

The older man laughed on his way out the door, “Take a shower, you stink!”

Peter showered in record time and scarfed down a breakfast of eggo waffles with disgusting speed. With only two minutes left to get downstairs to Happy, Peter grabbed his backpack, hugged everyone in sight, and took off down the elevator.

“Barely on time again, kid? Really?” SI’s head of security asked as the boy slid into the back seat of the car.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry Happy!” Peter apologised. “It’s just that I was so nervous for today that I lost track of time and also maybe had a small panic attack. But I’m fine now!” he reassured in a rush. Happy didn’t seem convinced about him being fine (the way he couldn’t stop tugging on his sleeves was a major tell), but he let it go.

“Don’t sweat it, kid. I’ll give you a pass for today. But maybe start setting your alarm for earlier, huh?”

Peter looked embarrassed but nodded his head. He knew Happy wasn’t much of a conversationalist in the mornings (or ever, really), so Peter just took out his phone and checked up on some social media for the car ride.

When Peter arrived at school, he made his way over to where Ned was standing with a few others from their class. The ever-enthusiastic boy was practically vibrating with excitement.

“Peter! Dude! Oh My God Are You Ready For This??!!!?!!”

Peter couldn’t find it in him to remind Ned that he’d literally been to the tower countless times before on account of being the bestest friend of one of its inhabitants.

“Yeah man, I guess,” he shrugged with a smile because his friend’s eager energy was an unstoppable force, and he would hardly consider himself an immovable object. Through his nerves, he managed to engage in a short conversation about some physics homework while they all waited for the bus. None of his classmates made mention of his ‘supposed’ internship. Thank god for small mercies.

Their bus pulled into the lot a little after 7:45. This was a fact that was majorly stressing out Peter’s poor engineering teacher, Mrs. Ficarra, who began hurriedly ushering her students onto said bus as soon as it came to a stop.

“Come on kids! Go, go, go! We’re gonna be late!!” She gave the bus driver a rather exasperated look as she entered the bus herself. The tired woman behind the wheel looked like she was already sick of everyone and everything, and it wasn’t even eight o’clock yet. Peter made sure to give the nice bus driver lady a bright smile when he caught her eye in the mirror. Traffic in New York was traffic in New York, it’s not like there was much anybody could do about that.

Peter, Ned, and MJ (who appeared out of fucking nowhere right as everyone was boarding the bus) took seats towards the back. Peter had been hoping this arrangement would be a good way to hide and not have to talk to anyone other than his best friends, but apparently God wanted to Nerf him.

“Yo, Penis!” Flash plopped down into a seat right in front of Peter and Ned’s. “You ready to be exposed as a liar and look like even more of a fucking idiot in front of everyone? Cause I am SO ready for that.” 

And so it begins, thought Peter.

“Just leave it alone, Flash,” he tried. “Can you just leave me alone for one goddamn day?” Peter was honestly worried for the physical wellbeing of his bully if he continued his bullshit in the presence of his highly-trained-and-willing-to-maim-if-not-kill superhero family. Or even some of his fellow intern friends if he was being honest. Those college kids likely wouldn’t hesitate to throw a punch on his behalf at the right comment. They were all too hyped up on coffee, stress, and sleep deprivation to exercise much self restraint.

“Why would I pass up this golden opportunity to embarrass the hell out of you, Parker? You’re no better than any of the rest of us, and I’m gonna prove it today.”

“I’ve never claimed to be better than anyone, dickwad,” Peter mumbled under his breath. Luckily, Flash was terminally unobservant, so he missed the comment and turned back around in his seat to converse with his fellow asshole friends.

“I personally think this field trip will be a wonderful learning opportunity.” MJ noted without glancing up from her notebook. “I can only imagine how much my drawing skills will improve given the amount of practice I’ll get from sketching your distress.”

“Ha ha, I’m glad someone will have fun with this.” Peter replied dryly. Despite Tony’s earlier reassurances, dread was starting to manifest as they got closer and closer to the tower.

“Come on, dude,” Ned said. “I’m sure everything will be fine. Plus Flash will get what’s coming to him when he sees you’re not lying about your internship!”

“But I don’t want anyone to get what’s coming to them because I just want to fly under the radar and not have anyone make a big deal out of anything!” Peter insisted.

“Good luck with that, loser” MJ huffed. “Have you met your family?”

“OOOH do you think we’ll get to see any of the Avengers?!!?” Ned asked with all the excitement of the Avengers fanboy he was.

“I can almost guarantee it,” MJ assured.

“How fast do you think I’d heal if I jumped out of this window and into traffic right now? Because that option is looking more and more appealing by the second.” Peter glanced out the window longingly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****LOOK HERE**** If you have any memes or references you'd like to see made in this fic, comment them and they will likely make an appearance  
> I'm sending wonderful vibes to all of you <3  
> -illyrianshadowsinger


	4. Stark Tower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Security here we come!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> readers can have two chapters in two days, as a treat

Just about every person on the planet would agree that Stark Tower is a magnificent sight to behold. The sheer size of it was near awe inspiring, and it never failed to make jaws drop upon being seen up close and personal. That is unless you live there and see it every single day. Which is why Peter didn’t bother to look up from his phone when the bus stopped in front of the familiar building. His classmates didn’t have much time to ogle the tower though, because Mrs. Ficarra was herding everyone off the bus in an effort to get to their scheduled security check in slot on time.

There were many gasps from the Midtown students when they entered the lobby of the tower. Peter could understand that; the lobby had a huge sitting area in the center with expensive (and comfy looking) chairs and tables, a reception desk that took up the length of an entire wall and was manned by at least ten secretaries at all times, high ceilings, tall windows that supplied natural light, colorful and elegant paintings that offset the chic white aesthetic, and several elevators that could only be accessed by going through the security stations set up in font of each of them.

Mrs. Ficarra led them to one of the secretaries that was available at the reception desk.  
“Hello! We’re here for a guided tour of the tower, should be under Midtown School of Science and Technology?”

The man behind the desk started typing away on his computer (the newest model of Stark tech, obviously) before nodding. “Yep, here you are. I’ll send a call for your tour guide to come meet you all down here and they’ll take you through security” he said. “Please go have a seat in our waiting area just there and someone will come get you.”

With that, the eager teens (well, Peter Parker was decidedly NOT eager) wandered over to the plush couches and chairs and immediately started chattering about how cool everything was. Mrs. Ficarra told them to keep their voices down and be good representatives of Midtown, but even she was gushing about the tour to come.

Within a few minutes, a short young woman walked up to their group and introduced herself as their guide.

“Hi everyone, my name is Elise Mason and I’ll be showing you all around today!”

Elise was a college student interning at the tower. It could be said that she would much rather be doing anything else than giving a tour to high schoolers, but she drew the short straw, so she had to take time away from her projects to do exactly that. She took stock of the school group to try to gauge whether this would be a fun tour or a tedious one. It seemed promising; everyone was looking at her attentively and hanging on her every word already. All except for one kid in the back.

“No way,” she said with equal amounts of disbelief and excitement. The students turned to see what she was talking about. None of them realized that they were missing the point by looking BEHIND Peter.

“Miss, is something wrong?” Cindy asked.

Elise was still looking at Peter, who had finally made actual eye contact with her. His entire demeanor screamed ‘DO NOT NOTICE ME I’M TRYING TO BLEND IN.’ Peter’s shoulders were hunched inward, his head slightly ducked, hands in his sweatshirt pockets, and those puppy eyes looked absolutely mortified. While all his classmates were trying to focus on some perceived commotion behind him, Peter gave her a frantic head shake. Elise couldn’t really figure out why he was reacting as if he expected to be shot at, but she decided to ask about it later. 

“Oh, uh,,,, nope, nothing’s wrong I just got surprised by something. Let’s get on with it so we can see the tower, huh? Sound good?” She was met with enthusiastic nods. “Alright folks, I’m just gonna pass out your lanyards with your guest security badges on them. When I call your name, please come up.”

Peter was now freaking the fuck out. What was he gonna do??? He didn’t have an ID badge, hadn’t had one ever since he lost his seventh reprint while on patrol. That had been months ago, and he was so used to FRIDAY scanning his biometrics automatically that he’d forgotten that it would make him stand out in front of his class! Shit shit shit shit shit!!

“Dude, hey, are you alright?” Ned whispered when he noticed his best friend doing what appeared to be a spot on impression of an owl having a stroke.

“Absolutely NOT!” Peter choked out. “I don’t ever use a badge anymore, remember? Everyone’s gonna notice if Ellie doesn’t call out my name for a guest ID and I can’t think of any good excuse!”

“Well yeah, MJ and I aren’t going to get our names called either. We’ve got our own IDs too,” Ned explained slowly, as if talking to a toddler.

“Oh my god I didn’t think of that either! How are we gonna explain that?!?? You two wouldn’t have any reason for having those if I was just a regular intern!” Peter was whisper-shouting in a frenzy.

“Hey, loser, it’s chill. They’ll forget about it eventually.” MJ said as the group of students who had yet to receive badges dwindled.

“WILL THEY THOUGH???” 

Elise had called all the names she had on her list. Because Peter worked in the tower, she was correct in her expectation that she wouldn’t be giving him a guest ID. The other two teens who hadn’t been called were throwing her for a bit of a loop though.

“Whoops, seems like I missed a couple. Can you three come here and check something with me real quick?”

The trio of friends gathered around her to explain themselves.

“Ha! Penis and his friends are totally gonna get kicked out of the building! I knew he’d get in trouble for faking an internship!” Flash boasted loud enough for their whole class to hear. His comment warranted a reprimand from Mrs. Ficarra. He didn’t look too chastised.

“Peter, are you doing alright, man?” Elise asked. Her coworker looked close to tears. Or a heart attack. Or both.

“Um, hi Ellie. I just really don’t wanna be on this tour and I’m trying to keep my whole class from finding out just how involved I am here.” he explained quietly.

“Well they must know you intern here, right?”

“I mean, yeah, but most of them don’t believe that and they definitely don't know that I have the fucking highest possible clearance in the whole building! Someone’s bound to ask why I don’t have a badge to scan, or why my clearance is ‘Classified’ when yours is ‘Level 3 Intern.’”

“Wait, why don’t they believe that you work here? That’s so dumb.”

“That’s not my main concern right now, Ells!”

“Okay, okay. Now why were you two not on my class list?” Elise asked the unfamiliar students.

“We’re friends of Peter’s and we come here often enough to visit that we were given our own IDs.” MJ clarified. The older intern looked to Peter for confirmation. He gave a distracted nod.

“Alright then, can I just have a look at them for a sec?” She asked.

“Of course!” Ned pulled his badge from his jeans pocket and handed it over, as did MJ.

“Alrighty, that checks out, these are legit. Let’s go join your classmates and get on with the tour.” She already knew Peter didn’t carry a badge.

Elise was just turning around to corral the larger group when she was stopped mid-step by a hand on her arm.

“Hey Elise?” It was the edgy looking girl, MJ. “Peter here is really freaking out about his clearance situation. Would you mind distracting the rest of our class while we walk through? I’d rather he not die by anything other than my hand, but it seems like the anxiety might beat me to it if he keeps up like this.”

“Yeah, no problem guys,” she said. Peter was a good friend, and this was the least she could do when he looked so uncomfortable. “Anything else? We really should get going…”

“Thank you so much Ells, I’ll really owe you one!” Peter said as he tried to calm down.

“No you won’t, Pete. I’m happy to do it.”

“Uh, okay then. Oh! I also wanted to warn you! Um, don’t be too shocked if some, uh, Avengers decide to crash the tour to embarrass me. I tried asking them not to, but it’s pretty much inevitable at this point.” Both Ned and MJ nodded in agreement with his last statement.

The short intern just laughed. “Oh boy, this is gonna be fun!” She ruffled Peter’s hair and went over to the rest of the group, the three friends following not far behind.

Elise led the class over to one of the security stations in front of an elevator and demonstrated how to swipe their badges and walk through the scanners. With the way most of the students reacted, you’d think the mundane act was the event of a lifetime. One by one, Peter’s class began filtering through security.

Once all but the trio of friends had gone through the scanners and swiped their badges, Elise called the rest of the group’s attention to her by starting to go over the rules they would have to follow while they were all in the tower. With everyone distracted, Peter made his way through security.

FRIDAY’s voice greeted him as he walked through. “Hello Peter. You’re back earlier than usual. Should I tell Boss?”

“No FRI, that’s okay. He already knows I’m here.”

“Very well. You have a message from A Little Bitch, would you like to hear it?”

“NO!” Peter definitely did not need anyone possibly overhearing whatever bullshit Shuri sent him. “I’ll just check it later, thanks FRI.”

“You’re welcome, Peter.”

Ned and MJ went through security without any fuss, and the trio quickly rejoined their class. Everyone was still listening to the rules Elise was spouting, so no one noticed the stragglers, and if they did, they didn’t think anything of it. All except for one Flash Thompson, who shot a suspicious and (not quite) threatening glare at the trio. However, no one out-glares MJ, so the matter was dropped before it could even be mentioned.

“Okay I think I’ve covered just about everything, so let’s get started!” Elise announced to everyone. “Everybody hop on the elevator (the elevators were absolutely HUGE, because everything about Stark Tower was huge, so fitting a group of twenty into one was nothing) and we’ll head up to our first stop: the SI business offices!”

As the students shuffled into the lift, Peter slid his phone out of his pocket and took a look at the message he had from Shuri.

‘Yoooooo imma have fun with this lol good luck’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, y'all! Next update should be in a week (or sooner if I can manage it). Who do you think the group will 'run into' first?????   
> As always, I'll take meme requests in the comments (or any other comments because wow the dopamine rush is incredible and I love you guys for it)  
> I am sending everyone vibes so funky fresh that you'll smile when you read this sentence.  
> (Did you smile? Nice. You've got a cute smile <3) Just for that, here's some more wonderful vibes! You deserve it!  
> -illyrianshadowsinger
> 
> (i swear to every deity out there, if my end of chapter note from my first chapter pops up below this i'm gonna lose my shit)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading the first chapter! I have roughly 10 chapters planned out for this fic and I am determined to see this through! I'll try to post once a week.  
> Kudos and comments are sooooo appreciated. Like, I will die of happiness if I receive a single drop of validation
> 
> The best of vibes to you all!  
> -Illyrianshadowsinger


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